Blame it on Shakespeare, but all of us need romantic love in our lives. Long gone are the days when people married for social status or inheriting wealth. Today, two people of different or the same sexualities want to be together for reasons that aren’t purely practical.
When a partner (married or unmarried) has spent a good amount of time with you, they sometimes tend to take you for granted. This might bring friction in your relationship with you questioning your worth.
Before giving up on love since it is quite rare to come by these things, try these tips to regain value and make your partner realize your worth.
Make yourself less available
Hate to break it to you but nobody truly appreciates someone who is easily accessible at all times. Most of us are wired to want things scarcely available. If you are into the habit of dropping your person the first text every morning, then DON’T!
Analyse your partner’s behaviour when you skip that text. Do they care enough to drop you a text and ask about your whereabouts? Depending on their actions (or the absence of it), you can decide to pursue this relationship or not.
Communicate your dissatisfaction
Ever came across anyone who advised you to be radio silent? If yes, you should know that it’s toxic. Keeping the communication channels open with your partner is essential for a committed, wholesome relationship.
Voice your opinion. Tell your person what isn’t working for you and how it makes you feel unfulfilled. Also, superhero powers are created only for fiction work, in real life, you do need to tell the other person that you are feeling rejected by their actions or inactions.
Focus on your dreams
Don’t make the mistake of making any person the centre of your world, no matter how hard you love them. Build your own goals and work towards them. The busier you get pursuing your ambitions, the more interested your partner will become in you.
We tend to look for role models in our partners. A self-sufficient person is 100% more attractive to others. Talent combined with hard work and consistency will make you attain self-worth beyond your partner.
Great for your growth and a point of great admiration for your partner. Your partner is an important part of your happiness, but the person is just that, an important part.
You are after all the main character of your story and learn how to impress people in the first meet. Add some conflicts to your story that you will be proud to resolve. Find your person hooting loud for you, and if they become jealous, they are better left alone in their misery.
Take up a new hobby
If you are already killing it at your workplace and making the big bucks, then spend some cash on taking up a new hobby. Attend puppetry workshops, acting and dancing classes or enrol yourself in something that will leave you surprised.
How about Taekwondo? Boxing? Swimming? There are many options for you to choose from. Maybe learn a new language or do voluntary work teaching underprivileged children.
This will give more structure to your life. Your partner seeing you getting multi-pronged in your life would want some attention back. Set clear boundaries this time and tell them that they should be equally involved in this relationship.
Set rules for yourself and you will see your partner wanting to stake their claim in it.
Stop with the gifts
Alright, maybe gift your partner the couple t-shirt that you bought online for the two of you. But beyond that, stop making your relationship all about materialistic gifts. If there is only transactional value accorded to a relationship, its essence would be lost over time.
Gift each other your valuable time and stand by your promises. Give a proper foundation to your relationship based on shared values and principles. Sprinkle in occasional gifts on special occasions and do keep that to a minimum.
Have a social life beyond your partner
Make some noise for your boys and gals. Your friends who have been there for you during your dark and bright days need your time too. They need to be told that you care for them.
Also, friends hardly disappoint. Go on afternoon brunch dates with them or have a boys’ night out, and yes do badmouth about your partner if it makes you feel light.
Your friends would most probably give you some sane advice. Sometimes we need an outside perspective to understand things better. Drop a text to your partner about your plans and attend to their calls only the next morning.
Go on a solo trip
Yes, you heard it first here. One assured way of making your partner realise your worth is to prove to them that “You want them and do not need them.” So, go ahead, make some bookings, go for a trek with total strangers or stroll by the beach all by yourself sipping your favourite beer.
Lit up your social media game and look your absolute hot. Your DM or your partner’s heart both might be on fire. You might find your partner waiting at the airport to receive you. Bonkers right!
Write a letter pouring your heart out
If you are an old soul at heart or a bit introverted, a heartfelt letter might help you make your partner see your worth. Don’t be overly sentimental but don’t hold back your real emotions too.
Sometimes, when thoughts are put down on paper, things start making more sense for you as well. If your partner is really into you, they will realise their ignorance towards you. It doesn’t hurt writing a letter anyway, write it to check if your handwriting has gotten worse from the last time. Yea, do it!
Hit the gym
Ahh! Jealousy is so sweet. If done in the right measure, it can repair your relationship like no other. Get that gym membership and ice it up with a great-looking trainer to make someone red in their ears and eyes.
Getting a great body that helps with your mental health should anyway be higher up on your list. Do some core strength training and be a stronger version of yourself.
Your partner would take more interest in knowing that you are on your path to becoming better, fitter and sexier. Exercise would bring up everyone’s heartbeats in the best way possible. Also find out how to make yourself fashionable and change your persona!!
Activate your spy skills
Don’t pay heed to it if you completely trust your partner. However, at times the withdrawal is not so much about you as it is about your partner’s interest in someone new.
If your partner is constantly unavailable for you while being online or their phone is busy late into the night, that should ring up your alarms. Confront your partner about it if you have solid evidence proving their disloyalty.
Sometimes, the best way of making your partner realise your worth is by simply dumping them when they break your trust.
Expand yourself for your partner but don’t break yourself up in the process.
Take a break
Burnout in their individual professional life might also be a reason for your partner’s seemingly distant behaviour. Maybe they aren’t able to find a work-life balance. Give them space.
Ask them to focus on their work and come back when they are in a better mental space. Of course, this might backfire on you with your partner ghosting you and never returning. But then why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want you back!
Remember what’s yours will find a way back to you. If your partner is equally invested in the relationship, they will clear the roadblocks along with you and will try to provide you the love and care essential for a thriving togetherness.